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In a petty response the president fired off everything we had, taking out China, the Middle East, western Russia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan an... all of the Arabian boot. Ya remember all that Mutually Assured Destruction shit that promised a nuclear winter if they dropped the big one? Well, they were right.To top it off, a team of nut-jobs jacked around with the diphtheria bacillus so that it was incredibly tough, deadly as hell and would host in canines. That's right, dogs. They thrived. Bob (that's my husband - but I'm sure you already knew that) said that you were getting a bit pudgy and he thought your heart wouldn't be able to handle the added cholesterol. Don't worry. I'll sneak in some real cookies and milk this year.Speaking of last year, I'd like to talk to you about last year's present. I appreciate the fact that you were thinking of me and don't want to seem ungrateful, but I must admit to some confusion. I just don't see how the 150 pairs of jockstraps could have. More

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