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Calm down, I was just asking, he said. As the bus pulled up on the freeway the driver turned off the interior lights. Except for the freeway lights an... signs going by, it was dark inside. Bill asked if I had a girlfriend, I said no. Raising his eyebrows, he asked a boyfriend. I looked at him and said no. We were half an hour out of the city, and the freeway lights were further apart. Bill asked if I played sports. I said football and diving team. Wow, you must be in good shape then. I pulled up. “Yeah,” I said. I sounded a little dumb, like when Catherine Tate does Lauren Cooper. “We were supposed to leave the day after the volcano erupted.” I tried to keep a straight face. I was wondering what he would look like as he erupted on the one hand. On the other I was trying not to laugh at my own thoughts because I had that damn Lauren Cooper voice in my head saying things like, Do I look like a trapped tourist? Do I look like a trapped British tourist? Do I, look like, some British. More

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