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”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Le... me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely. However, I know that you're not a wimp. You're as much a man as anyone I have ever known!" she said sincerely, then paused. "I know this sounds incredibly self-serving, but I think you are more of a man because of what we do." What do you mean by that?" Tim asked curiously."Well, I don't believe most men could handle it. A man has to be very secure in his masculinity to allow his wife to be with other men. Think about it. A jealous, possessive man is an insecure man. That's a wimp to me.. More

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